I went to visit the on campus counselor this week. And after explaining what I've been going through the last few months he feels that I might be depressed. He also thinks that I have been going through it for longer than just this year or that I might have had it before. He was very kind but also very stern. If I don't commit to getting better I won't.
He suggested a kind of therapy called Self Talk. He has used it before for himself and for other students that go to my school. Because I am a Christian he suggested it be biblically based. The basic idea is that I talk to myself. It sounds kind of crazy, but I am supposed to say a couple phrases that he gave me 4 to 5 times a day. In the mirror or just out loud, it doesn't matter as long as I'm saying it. It won't start working right away. He told me that if I commit to doing this I will typically start feeling better after a couple weeks. I have another meeting with him next Thursday to start talking out all the crazy stuff that has happened to me.
The phrases I'm saying are : I am a child of God and He loves me, and I am not a conqueror except through Christ.
It's funny because I believe both of those things, but saying them out loud feels so weird. It's just awkward. But I honestly hope it works.
It was a melancholy day yesterday. I had so much going through my head. I just want this feeling to go away. I know God has good plans for me, I just hate not knowing what they are.
Keeping my chin up,
K
2 comments:
Hey, you-I love you!!
I'm so glad that you are finding things to help. I think that first step is the hardest... realizing that it is time to get better. If you remember I was there right before I got involved with you guys in that Bible study after I lost my cousin. *hugs*
It does get better... hooray for you for admitting it and looking for help! Moms love you no matter what and I hated that mine knew I was depressed to (why do we think we can somehow hide it from them?)
Love you tons... come see me sometime! I wish I could come see you but Abs and Kara hate being in the car....
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