Inching

Ever feel like stress is going to eat you alive? I've been able to handle stress all my life, taking it an inch at a time, but right now I may lose my grip. Usually when my stress levels get really high i have some sort of major medical problem. Blackouts, bursting organs, inflamed stomach linings; you name it I've had probably had it. I'm just waiting for the next hospital visit.

I'm trying to be as candid as humanly possible today. I've never really set a purpose to my blog but I guess it's just to be real with myself. I'm not great at getting my emotions out there unless you know me quite well, so this is a place that I can be real with myself. So if I'm being honest...I'm upset right now. There are very few things going right for me these days. And to make myself feel better I'm going to list those....

1. My boyfriend G. He's a wonderful guy and makes me so content and happy that some days I almost forget about all the crappy stuff.
2. My friend K - She has been nothing but supportive and candid with me. Giving me more hope than I've had in weeks.
3. My new tattoo - well worth the wait and the pain, the most beautiful and most personal tattoo I have ever gotten. (will post a picture of it and document my experience asap)

In spite of all that good, why do tears find my eyes so easily these days? Rejection and ignorance meet me around every corner. Even my faith doesn't seem to be right anymore.

Something my tattoo artist said during my session yesterday really got me. We were discussing life in general and the different stages it takes. She said that the most life changing years are the ones between leaving the nest (for college or just moving out of your parents house in general) until you start your own family. Those are the years that shape you and mold the person you will be. Who am I being molded into?