A lot has happened in the last 2 days. I have been more than overwhelmed by school and finances and I'm just glad that I have been able to finally figure some things out.
I am not happy. And I am tired. I sleep almost 12 hours a day and when I'm not sleeping I'm at class or work. A lot of things have happened in the last three months that have taken their tole on my emotions. My mom ( an RN) came to visit me yesterday to talk through some things and we both agreed that it would be a good idea for me to see a counselor. Living alone, my busy schedule and heartache have all added up and she thinks that I am mildly depressed. I also have plans to see a Dr. to determine if I need to be on medication. I don't know what is worse, knowing that my mother thinks I'm depressed, or knowing it myself.
In light of those happenings I have also decided to drop two of my classes. I can't focus, there is no motivation and I NEED to pass my math class. You see I'm terrible at math and I loathe it with every fiber of my being, so I am taking charge and letting go of those other classes so I can just get through this one. I will be seeing a tutor as well to ensure a C in the class. I don't know when I will graduate, but at this point I don't care. I will one day and when I do I will know that I worked my freaking butt off to get there.
This hasn't been an easy year. I know that I've let a lot of people down during my spiral into this hole, but I hope that cataloging my journey out can help someone heal. Because healing is exactly what I intend to do! Step 1 : admit there is a problem.
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